A Love Story

I'm facing the morning with a horrendous sore throat that I fervently hope is caused by allergies, not a cold. So I'm chewing Aspergum, which I love. Aspergum and I needlessly spent so many years apart. When I got the first bad sore throat of my college career, I told the boy I was yearning after at the time, "I'm going to go to the U-Store and get some Aspergum." He said, "What's Aspergum? That sounds like a terrible idea. I'm sure it's not very good for you. You should get Sucrets or something instead." I listened to him. Sometimes I think my daughters should not be allowed near males from the time they're 12 until they're 25.

Then for years I could not find any Aspergum, anywhere. No one had ever even heard of it. A couple of weeks ago I was in the Mom and Pop pharmacy, the one where your prescription is actually ready when they said it would be, the one where the pharmacist is not channeling Ursula from "Mad About You," and--Aspergum! Right up front, as you walk in the door, even! I bought some on speculation, and here I am needing it.

So along with the sorrow of a persistent soreness on swallowing, comes a joyful reunion with a medication I love that has not, in fact, been banned.